6 Down and 3 To Go!!

At the last minute, Tim decided to join some dentists in our area and head down to Guatemala on a humanitarian trip for 10 days. 10 bed-time routines on my own. I have to say that I've been pleasantly surprised by my ability to remain mainly in control (of myself, that is. I'd never pretend to have "control" over my children...). I guess I should admit that I am sort of a "rise-to-the-occasion" kind of gal. Seriously, I do better when I know there is no possibility of a "bail-out" than when I know Tim will be home any minute but he's somehow taken 4 minutes longer than he said he would. Do you know what I mean? Sigh.

On top of the 10 nights alone, I even survived a holiday on my own. It ended up being very fun. We went to the pool at my gym and enjoyed swimming and hamburgers. We survived Sunday with the help of some friends being brave enough to invite us over for dinner. The weekdays aren't so bad at all. We just have our normal daily routine. It just gets lonely at night, and I miss my Tim. A two minute phone call every night or so just doesn't cut it. Now we just have Saturday and Sunday, then he's home.

Does this sound negative? Are you all wondering "why can't she handle her life/kids better"? I wonder that sometimes, too. What is my problem? Part of it boils down to the temperament of my children. As our Bishop likes to say, "You were not denied the blessing of active children." Also, I struggle with modeling calm, temperate behavior in stressful situations. This has led to my children also having a hard time remaining calm in stressful situations. Stressful situations come up a lot in a house with 5 active children. I'm working on this. I also have the honesty gene deeply embedded in my genetic code. So much so, that, if anything, I ere on the side of being too honest, and in that effort to be honest, I think I say or admit to things that come across negative. Who knows. Either way, I'm proud of myself for my good behavior in my husband's absence, and I'm so excited for him and the adventure he's having.

I also must record here that I do deeply love my five little people. They have been so instrumental in the development of who I am and who I want to become. Parenting, while relentless, is also the best way to learn and grow and change and improve that I know of. It's funny to look back 11 years and 2 months ago at the mother I was and see how I've changed. It's been such a journey. So worth it in every way. I'm so grateful to my children and the way each of their individual personalities and spirits have contributed to the mother I'm striving to become.

Thank you to the friends and my sister that I've called and talked to almost every night during my lonely times. Keep me in your positive thoughts until Sunday.